Hindsight

So, here I am, three days left before I fly over to America and my other half. #NoReturnFlight, baby.

I. Can’t. Wait.

It’s been a hell of a year getting here, and we’ve slogged through many a trench on the way, and it has been entirely, 100%, worthwhile. And I’m not even there yet! I think we’ve both learned a huge amount from the experience, and I’m sure other LDR couples feel the same. But what have we learned about the Long Distance experience, particularly? I feel a list coming on….

1. It completely sucks. 😀
2. Not all that many people will understand the lengths that you go to ( see this and this). You just have to expect and be ready for this, really. Your attachment to your phone, your unsatisfactory reasons for turning down social engagements, your red-rimmed eyes, the way you hate-stare any happy monolocational couples walking by. People don’t often get it.
3. You are under much more stress than you realise. Seriously. In the past few weeks Tina and I have both felt such huge relief at being where we are now (admittedly there’s still anxieties that won’t die until we’re physically together, but still). We actually laugh more than once a week! You really don’t know how much it affects you, until it doesn’t affect you. (side note: sorry to all the people I’ve thrown off a cliff in rage over the past year).

   

   Murder in 3, 2….

4. You will wish time away, and that’s totally fine. Even though people will tell you not to. The caveat to this is that you should endeavour to have an end date in mind, and not a vague ‘in the future…. (there will be robots)’
5. You will need to restrain yourself when it comes to throwing people off cliffs. I know, I know. It sucks that ‘he told me I should be happy because my girlfriend and I still get to Skype, at least’ is not a valid defence for a murder charge. Maybe one day the law will change, but for now we have to go with it.
6. You have to trust each other. Totally. Which means, a: let them know you trust them and behave accordingly, and b: don’t go behaving in a way that makes you difficult to trust.
7. It’s okay to feel more anxieties than a normal couple. It really is. You’re far apart and can’t reassure yourselves with physical contact. Don’t stress. It doesn’t mean that either of you are psychotic.

   

   Okay, maybe a little psychotic.

   8. It’s going to hurt. It is also worth it. Totally, totally worth it.

I’m sure more will come to me, but right now I’m enjoying watching couples go by without wanting to kill them. Ah, bliss.