7 Things You Definitely Should Say To People In Long Distance Relationships

Also done for a laugh or two, as should be obvious pretty quickly…

1. Sure, I get that you can’t make it tonight/have to leave early. Skype calls are your main form of connection and I appreciate that, especially as I get to see my significant other every night. What a fortunate pig I am.
2. I know that you’re doing the whole visa thing as fast as you can. Good for you. Clap, clap, clap.
3. Yes, the internet sure is amazing. How lucky you are to find someone so right for you, even though they live far away, which surely is a bummer. Dude.
4. You’re spending a chunk of money and screwing yourself over schedule-wise just to be together for four days? Of course, I get that. Why wouldn’t you? Watch as I cheer you on.
5. I know you’re often on your phone, but I understand why and I appreciate how you try to balance everything with me even though you and your loved one may only have a minute or two to talk for the next ten hours or so. And you’re not even going to see her in person at all for weeks on end! You just carry on and message for a few. I’ll still be here. In fact, let me dance for your entertainment until you’re finished.
6. I love how obvious it is that your feelings for each other came first, not the possible benefits of wherever you happen to be moving to. True love forever! Damn, it always makes me cry a little.
7. Don’t worry, I won’t mention the possible pain you might cause your family, or how difficult it might be to leave them, your friends, or your home. I bet that causes you enough pain without me going on about it, right? Here, have a digestive biscuit.

It’s worth a try, people! Give it a shot. Maybe.